The Food Network

For most of my life I never had cable TV. That's ok. There are many worse things to be deprived of. Now that I have cable TV and way to much free time I'm developing a very masochistic obsession with the food network. I realize that they are in the business to make money and therefore it makes far more sense for them to market to bored housewives than poor, pretentious, aspiring chefs, but do they have to show 4 and a half hours of god damn Rachael Ray making "Spaghetti and meatball 'stoup'"("thicker than soup, thinner than stew!") every day? On any given day up to 21% of all programming on the food network is Rachael Ray centered. She has like 5 shows now! Can I cook better than her? Do I know more about food than her? Probably not (yet) so maybe I have no right to call her an obnoxious hack, but I'm going to anyway. Rachael Ray is a cancer on American cuisine. Emeril (who is also an obnoxious hack), Alton Brown, and her take up almost half of the Food Network air time. I don't mind Alton Brown so much. His "Good Eats" program has taught me many valuable things, but this imbalance is still completely unacceptable. These figures are based on the schedule for one day of programming but from what I've been observing this is about the norm. It's complete bullshit.

Many more rants about the Food Network and ways it could be better to come. I realize I have a very poor track record when making promises about updating this blog but this time I'm serious. Seriously. I promise.