Monday, November 13, 2006

My Iron Chef Journal

Rachel Ray and Mario Batali vs. Giada De Laurentiis and Bobby Flay. I've been waiting for weeks. I can't decide who I want to win. On one hand I hate Rachel Ray far more than Giada De Laurentiis but I don't hate Mario Batali at all and I strongly dislike Bobby Flay. So the question is does my combined, moderate hatred of Bobby and Giada cancel out my intense hatred for Rachel? I guess I just won't root for anyone.

12:00: I'm praying that the secret ingredient is something random and really difficult like sorrel or eel or something. I'm bound to be disappointed.

12:02: My roommate Paul remarks at the size of Giada's forehead. It is really big.

12:06: The ingredient is cranberries. Lot's of potential for hilariously awful Rachel Ray food there. Sadly I don't think Mario will let that happen.

12:15: Time out to watch Morel Orel. I wish I had TiVo

12:21: Totally worth it.

12:27: I'm disappointed that neither Ted Allen nor Jeffrey Steingarten are judges for this battle. I was hoping for some trash talk.

12:31: Its really hard to blog in real time.

12:34: Bobby Flay is using canned cranberry sauce.

12:35: Bobby Flay uses toast in every battle. I hate him.

12:35: Mario Batali takes some cranberry cocktails to the judges table. Huge surprise, the chairman decides to allow it. Just once I'd like to see him not allow something. Unfortunately that will never happen because he's clearly on all kinds of drugs in every episode.

12:45: Mario Batali is adding real, tasteless, smelless, paper thin gold to something. I don't know how I feel about this.

12:47: I've just noticed that this episode is going a half hour longer than normal. Kick ass.

12:55: The way that Bobby Flay disguises his complete lack of creativity with over elaborate plating is really transparent.

Rachel Ray's cranberry glazed pancetta wrapped sage stuffed jumbo prawns actually look pretty good.

1:04: The battle is over. Everyone finished with about 20 seconds to spare. I'm calling it for Mario and Rachel pre-judgement. I'm not sure how confident in that pick I am.

1:07: Judging begins.

1:10: Giada seems really nervous. She is not handling criticism from the flamboyantly gay judge very well. Ted Allen, your spirit lives on.

1:11: Why the hell is Mo Rocca a judge on this show so often? OMG he just said that Giada and Bobby "kind of look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie so I'm going to call this dish cranngelina". Mo, I'm sorry I questioned you.

1:17: Rachel Ray is soooooooo not funny

1:25: Judging is finished and I think Bobby Flay and Giada have a slight edge. Should be close though.

1:27 The winner is: Mario and Rachel. I should have known better than to pick Bobby Flay over Mario Batali even if he's partnered with Rachel Ray. Giada looks really pissed. In a perfect world the winning team would be challenged by Sandra Lee and Morimoto. Sigh. I think it's interesting that they didn't show the scores like after most battles. Maybe it wasn't so close after all?


Anonymous Dad said...

This was the best post I've seen at this blog. Actually kept me wanting to read all the way to the end. Maybe this is the start of a new genre...summaries of shlock tv with entertaining commentary. We need a word for it. How about "foom"? People could create whole blogs just dedicated to foom. My 'Survivor' foom site...

Also, someone actually clicked the link you made to "Dad's site" - thanks for including that. Gives me confidence.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Julian said...

Its not really my idea. many others have done similar things before me.

12:33 PM  

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